Day Eleven

Today has been crazy busy.

So, I have been part of an on line forum, in one form or another, since 2006. When I was pregnant with T, I had a massive bleed and was told I had miscarried. I spent the weekend searching for help, for hope – that there was some possibility that they were wrong. An ultrasound 3 days later (don’t get me started on that story!) showed that baby Bob (as we nicknamed him) was still there and I remained in the group.

As you can imagine, with a tight group of ladies, there were falling outs. Some of these were vulgar, like ‘can’t believe you are about to be a mother’ type vulgar. Over the years the group split a part and numbers dwindle and we were left with a group of around 70 women on a facebook group, which I happen to have started.

Around the 20th of July, that all changed when the group took another bitter turn for the umpteenth time. Some of the ladies had a falling out away from the group and it spilt in – with what could only be described as cyber bullying taking place. I had been away from the group for a while because of the turn it took so I regained control. Changed the name and instigated the rules that you will not attack other people and abuse would be reported.

Everything was going well; the group had a new surge of life as, aside from the bullying posts, the place had been quiet. All of a sudden people were back, posting. Perhaps they felt safer? Until – 7 days later, one woman decided she didn’t like the new name. Two others joined in and a vote was suggested. I said no. I said I liked the name and didn’t plan on changing it. Well, the proverbial hit the fan! I was called a dictator, queen bee, you name it. All because of a dumb name. However, I stuck steadfast and took a stand. A stand against the corrupt nature that the group had evolved into and sometimes you just have to. All of a sudden, those elements that had been quiet, that had not participated all week were suddenly there, joining in. A whiff of drama and people love it, which is such a shame.

I made two changes – I reiterated rules we’ve always had (which is basic common dignity) and changed a name for the sake of restoring harmony. I stand by my decision and feel that if people need to walk away because I changed a name, prepared to leave 10 years worth of friendship over the fact I didn’t want to change a group name, then so be it. Because surely, they aren’t disagreeing with the morals behind the group??

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