Day Forty-Six. The final day.

The last day of my summer holidays, and my mission to be productive, is over.

Today I went to the Drs for the, what seems like, billionth time this holiday (the receptionist greets me my first name now!) the summer holidays is always a good time to get everything sorted because I don’t find the time when I am at school. 

This afternoon we went back to one of our favourite haunts of the summer holiday – Langold. We took a walk around the lake and went blackberry picking (enjoying the fruits of our labours in a crumble!) before giving the children some time in the splash park. It was wonderful to see themselves enjoying it so much, especially T who is always so grumpy at the thought of leaving the house. He was especially so tonight. 

M cried this evening, saying she will miss me when I go to work tomorrow. This was partly because she was tired but also how she feels and I feel bad I have to go. They have the next two days as training days / lucky things. I tried to reassure her that she’d be fine with daddy and he’ll keep her so busy she won’t miss me, but of course that won’t be true. He’ll play mine craft and probably shout at them if they argue or get too noisy. The only good thing is he has run out of mobile data do he won’t be catching Pokemon! 

So how do I feel my holidays have been. I am not too sure we’ve had many stay at home days. I definitely haven’t been in school ass much as I did last year and I feel I have accomplished some things, though maybe but finished anything. I am proud of keeping up with the blog (not sure how that’ll keep when I am back at school!) and don’t feel I wasted this summer like I did last summer. 

I do feel I have learnt something this summer – I need to come first every once in a while. I’ve ignored myself for too long and it has got me into trouble, so I must keep reaching for that bit of ‘me’ time.

Thanks for sticking with me, if you have, over the past 45 days. Normal service will how resume.

Advertisements

Day Forty-Five

I am desperately trying to cling onto the final days of the summer holidays. I have to go back to work on Thursday and I am absolutely dreading it.

I don’t fear hard work. I don’t mind pulling my weight – I certainly don’t want to be a benefit scrounger and do nothing all day. Teaching would be alright if people look at it correctly, but it is becoming a business. Ironically – that is how I argued my place at university. The career advisor, when taking my A Levels, told me that I would struggle to get on a teaching course with the subjects I was taking (Geography, Sociology, Psychology and Business Studies) and I argued on my application form that schools would be run like businesses. Such forethought to predict academies 20 years prior to the Tories relentless campaign to make education profitable.

I am an expensive teacher. I am at the top of my pay scale and have to show my worth. I am not an outstanding teacher. I really do badly with lesson observations but I am a grafter – I work bloody hard and I jump through all the hoops. I am not sure that that will be good enough.

Day Forty-Four

Today has been a lovely day weather wise and so we took advantage  and went to the Yorkshire Wildlife Park. This is a large park dedicated to the rescue of animals who have been kept in poor conditions in various places over the world. It developed from a small farm called Brockholes, which gradually began to show animals other than the standard farm animals, such as Meerkats.

The park is well laid out although is still looking like it is being developed, with enclosures being improves and added to. I have to say, I am not a huge fan of these types of places, the best place for an animal in their natural environment, however these have not been bred in captivity (except from those who have been rescued from that type of environment) and so are better off than where they have come from, but I couldn’t help but think that, with the exception of a few exhibits, they all looked the same in terms of land – the polar bears for example. Whilst the land is supposed to present the summer habitats of the polar bears, I can’t help but feel disappointment that they won’t feel the ice below their paws anymore as even our winters don’t produce that much snow!

The children needed a fair bit of motivation to get going. The exhibits were a walk apart, which is a good thing and shows the size of the ground the animals have, but walking is too much effort for them at times (not me, I nailed the walking part of my fitbit today – 13,342 steps, 5.65 miles and 75 active minutes).  They perked up after a quick go on the adventure park and perked up even more for the indoor play area which is superb. They all had a great time, but I was particularly proud of J. She has hypertonia of her lower limbs, is unsteady of her feet and has a wide gait. She walls over frequently, struggles to walk long distances and walks like a toddler. One part of the play area had a net bridge that was going up at a slight angle, but had a soft floor to it. his made it incredibly difficult for her to walk up and she attempted it 4 or 5 times (with 3 or 4 goes at each attempt) before she finally made it. She kept trying, going away and then coming back. I was so proud of her determinations (she refused to be aided even though her sibs had tried) and was so pleased with herself. With the difficulties she faces, I am so glad she has the strength of determination.

We finished the day off with a trip to pizza hut. This would not have been my first choice as there really aren’t any ‘free’ options on Slimming World. Nevertheless, I stuck to plan for the rest of the day (no chips, no ice cream, no sweets) so I could eat feeling like I had tried my best. Let’s see what Thursday brings.

Determined J

My determined J.

Day Forty-Three

I have quite a sense of not being prepared although what I am not prepared for, I do not know.

The house is tidy although not as spotless and I would like. The garden is still a mess and hubby’s table still an eye sore. There is so much stuff underneath it, it is difficult to put the chairs under. There is dusting that needs doing, but I certainly don’t feel claustrophobic with the state of the house as I have done in the past. I do not have the confidence that hubby will keep up with the house work but I will have to develop the confidence to tackle the issue with him as it just makes me too angry.

I have also got myself prepared for school. I do have some things left to do, such as the weekly lesson plan for literacy and an overview of reading and GPS. I just don’t feel prepared enough.

I think this year is going to be extra stressful at school – we are having more observations and mini drops in throughout the year and I have a feeling that they will be ruthless. I do fear for my job because, although I am confident I am not the worst teacher in the school by quite a way, I am also not the best and I tend to completely flake during lesson observations.

Have just watched ITV’s drama about Queen Victoria – I do find programmes like this incredibly interesting.

Day Forty-Two

The final ‘free’ weekend before school resumes. Not that I am going back to work next week, but when next weekend arrives I shall have all the thoughts of returning on Thursday.

I do so dream and wish that I did not have to work. Not that I wish to live a life of being bone idol, it just means that I could complete all of my projects – make Christmas cards, make crafts, colour, bake, make my photo books, transcribe my grandfathers diaries, visit places… so much that I could do.

I dream of having a better house – larger kitchen, separate dining and living room, play room, a bedroom for each of the children, an en-suite, a craft room…

Perhaps I have spent too long dreaming and not enough time living the life I have been given.

It’s a cat life

Oh what a hard life he leads!

Woody is our adopted cat. He moved into our little housing cluster (there are 4 houses coming off our drive) along with his owner Andy (hence the name) around two years ago. He began mooching around the house and we made the mistake of feeding him. That was it in his eyes and he started inviting himself in. He hasn’t left, although his owner has, moving out last year and just leaving Woody with us.

He is a nuisance at times and will eat forEngland  if we let him, but he’s very loving.

Day Forty-One

T and M came back from being at my parents.  M has gotten really upset yesterday because she was missing us and, although it was 9pm at night, I would’ve gone and got her. She decided to stay at mum and dads though and eventually settled down to sleep.

They have come back looking tired but happy. I survived the trip although mum did buy T some new socks and M some new knickers because apparently, what I has packed wasn’t up to snuff. They also got the children new school shoes.

Can’t believe the end of the last week off is coming round. Time has gone so quickly, I don’t want to go back.

Day Forty

Went into school today to set up my classroom. J went to spent the day with her nan and hubby came in to help. He put up the backing display paper, but wasn’t impressed that I had to tell him he wasn’t doing it correctly. This makes me sound like a complete bitch, but schools have display policies and some can be very prescriptive, down to the direction of the paper. Equally, I am a little OCD and things have to look smart and symmetrical. I always say these things delicately but he always takes it wrong.

He also helped me move the books from the shelf into the new library area. This again turned into a farce as instead of putting the books in a continuous block, he was putting one letter per shelf, going down one column so (A, B, C and D), and was then going to go back to the top shelf with E. A really bizarre way of organising it and when show the more rational way, he again lost it.  Things have to be organised in a logical and sensible manner in school, but feel like I cannot say anything. I am not sure I will have him in to help in future.

 

Day Thirty-Nine

I have got myself a new phone. It isn’t the best deal out there, but I do prefer to stay with my Network as it avoids a lot of aggro. I have got an iPhone 6 and I am pretty pleased with it. The hubby will be jealous though as he does not like having inferior technology to me (He has an iPhone 5s) or at least not of equal quality. If I get something, he has to have it too. The Fitbit being a fine example.

After the phone arrived, we went to Lakeside to have a walk. I didn’t make it all the way round now as my shoes were beginning to rub and it is all the more important that I take care of my feet. We also went and did a little shopping: I got some lovely felt tip pens from The Works. I had originally picked up a set of 18 from the adult colouring section (as in colouring books for adults – not porno books!) priced at £2 but, upon entering the children’s art section, found the exact same pens, in a different packaging, but as a set of 36 (with different colours as opposed to repeated colours) for £3. Only a £1 more, for far better colours. It just goes to show you the powers of marketing.

Hubby went out for a meal with mum and his brother. His brother is severely autistic and so we don’t go too. He then ended up going Pokémon hunting and it was quite nice to have the peace and quiet.

Day Thirty-Eight

Today we left T and M at my parents for a few days. They always go and stay with them for a little while in the summer and during one of the half terms. They enjoy their time with the grandparents, but I think  that this year it might be slightly more challenging due to T and M bickering like cats and dogs.

It is nice for them to spend time with my parents as this means I get chance to have some 1:1 time with J. She isn’t able to stay as she is too young and I think she’d miss us too much. I don’t think my parents would be able to deal with her needs either.

We don’t have a lot planned, although tonight we might have a BBQ because the weather is glorious!